“Never let yourself be the victim.”-Sebastian Stark
Well, as for today, I broke that rule. I’ve let myself be consumed by my weak emotion that I forgot to rationalize things the way they are now.
Sometimes we walk a path where we know that the end of the road would hurt us. And yet, we choose to do so because it’s familiar. Hoping that this time around would be a different story.
I went home last night realizing that I broke my own principle. I told myself that this is the part where I hate to tell myself: “I told you so.” But at least I realize that I’m walking the same path early on before this will devastate the way I see things. I told myself last night that I don’t want to be the same fool as I was before.
The good thing is that a year ago, I wrote myself a letter with a salutation: “Dear Future Jaime”. I think now is the right time for me to read this.
I’m not sure if it was Einstein who said this. Well anyway, here it goes: “Stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”
Yeah, I’ve been stupid today. At least, just for today.
I am nobody.
Nobody is perfect.
Therefore I am perfect.
I use to tell my friends that you will never get what you want if you don’t know what you want.
Whenever I go to the mall, I already had a specific thing in mind on what I will buy. I just don’t want to waste my time thinking what suits my taste for in the first place, I know myself to know what I want.
I’ve learned this from Alice(of Wonderland). I will never forget this part from the story:
“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?’
“’That depends a good deal on where you want to get to”’ said the Cat.
“’I don’t much care where” said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cat.
Life is too short for us to be confused with what we want. You know it in yourself which way you wanna go. So don’t be hard on yourself. Learn from Alice.
I always find this ironic in Basketball: players screw the time from first to third quarter then will die for the ball during the last minute of the game. I must admit, I’m not really a good athlete. But I really just find it absurd to do such a thing. Yeah, we have a lot of time to play and fool around in our life, but it doesn’t make us a hero to die for the last minute. It just makes us appear a little stupid for wasting every possible chances.
When I say that I’m a fan of something, I take the definition of me as a fanatic rather than just being an admirer. It takes a belief of someone’s ability or passion for a field or an exemplary performance before I consider myself one. And yes, I’m a Lakers fan, ever since I’ve had an idea of NBA.
I’ve never been this devastated being a fan. Not since they said that Edward Norton will not reprise his role as Incredible Hulk. Not since Leonardo di Caprio did not win the Oscar for Blood Diamond. Not since Michael Jackson, Heath Ledger and my dad passed away. You see, unlike everyone, I’m taking the term “fan” not just the way most people perceive it.
I just can’t let go of the fact that this is how Phil Jackson’s career should end. I believe there’s only two best coach in NBA’s history, Pat Riley and Jackson. I’ve read a lot about Phil and his credo when it comes to sports. You’re going to love the guy’s philosophy. And as for Kobe Bryant, I have this big admiration for him. Since the O’ Neal-Bryant feud, Bryant evolve from being a player into a great athlete. Before, people throw words to him, saying:”You can never win a championship without Shaq on your back.” He was branded negatively. Then, he proved them all wrong. Two rings without Shaq, yet this is how he will be remembered by history. The very irony of life: People will praise you for all your achievements in life yet will damn you for one mistake.
I’m not a fan of the saying: “Lower your expectation, so you won’t be hurt.” I mean, life is just an employer, he gives you what you ask for. If it didn’t turn out the way you want it, you just have to accept that that’s how life is. Even Michael Jordan’s career is not a whole straight winning, he emerged from hard knocks too. And this is how life can get painful. You need to lose in order for you to feel what it’s like to win. You need to lose for you to see what you’ve overlook that caused you to be where you are. There’ll be no rewind to correct the past, just a forward to avoid committing the same mistake again.
Yeah, you may consider me nuts, or this blog as such. You may diss me or laugh at what I’m thinking right now. That’s because you’ve never felt what it’s like to be a real fan. Being a fan, as ridiculous as this might seem, is like breathing-it will always be in your system.
I realized why fans act the way they do. It’s because they see themselves on the person they look up to. That’s why whenever the person they revered is hurt, reposed, or lose, they can see themselves being in that place. No wonder why many Filipinos felt foul when the referee didn’t call Mosley’s push of Pacquiao rightly. Everyone felt the injustice as much as Manny do.
Which NBA team am I betting for as champions? I really have no idea. And one thing, I don’t bet, I believe. I believe that Lakers will be the playoffs champions, and it didn’t change my belief in them just because they lose. Switching teams is not my definition of loyalty. But I must say that I commend Dallas for their great performance. It’s really hard to accept that invinciblity doesn’t last forever. Even Superman faced his death. And that might have been what we’re all afraid of: to face the reality that the top has no room for two, time will come that someone will take his glory too.
Life shouldn’t change the way you see it because of a failure. Defeat is temporary until you make it part of your reality.
I will always remember every first week of my college’s first semester, when I cut my class just to be able to watch the Lakers game. When me and my pals are in the eatery near our dormitory, and all around are the same idiots like us who missed their class just to be able to watch the game too. When every shot the Lakers will make leave us jumping in our seats. When it feels like the strangers around you are your longtime friends just because you are supporting the same team. God, I will always remember those moments. That for those times, our lives paused for a moment, to be part of the ecstasy: that life is as struggling as basketball can be.
I’m a big Lakers fan, and will always be.
Have you ever felt being bored at the beginning of a movie, get’s curious in the middle why the hell this character is acting like that and then when you reach the end of the movie when you’re wondering what the character will do next, the credits starts to roll? You want to know what he/she will do in the end and get frustrated ‘cause you will never know. The movie is just for 2 hours and 10 mins, nothing more, nothing less. And it must end eventually. The only thing you can do is watch the movie back, only this time, you appreciate not just part by part of it, but the movie as a whole.
Same goes when you meet someone. The only difference is that in a movie, you give it a chance to prove that it’s worth watching, yet the ending is still the same. With someone, you give that person a chance to prove his/her worth and you’ll never be stuck with those questions that keeps you wondering.
And yeah, it must end eventually.
There are some people who started to tweet hate messages to me because Mr. Jim Paredes retweeted my message of support for him. Well, to be honest, I’ve been expecting it. Actually I find it funny because I didn’t even mention a name in my tweet, and a whole lot of these hate tweets are coming in. Talk about reading before reacting right?
I’m used to it anyway. Believe me, I do. The quote “You can’t please everybody” has been cliché, but yeah, it does apply most of the time. I always bear in my mind that I was not born to try to fit in the eyes of everyone. So I know that at some point others will hate something that I say or do.
And how do I respond with it? I just give a big smile. I’ve been in debates at school and I noticed that people will always say something to rebut against my argument and save their wounded pride, but not with a man who smiles. At the end of the day, the person who argues is the one who carries a burden heart.
In everything I do, I always say to myself: “I’ve spent sixteen years of my life studying to acquire the knowledge and values to make myself worthy to be called an educated person. With this act that I’m going to do, am I deserving to be called educated?” If the answer is no, I know I have to change something.
An educated person will always act according to reason, and not by sudden rush of emotional impulse. Will act toward his men in a civilized and cordial way like how he wants himself to be treated. And most of all, will respect the opinion of others, realizing that the other party may be actuated by worthy motives, that in judging them they may have acted unwisely.
I have no malice against other person. I give them the benefit of the doubt. If they say negative against me, I just ignore it. It will make me no different from them if I’ll go down to their level and argue.
Christ Himself was persecuted by His own people. Did He try to prove himself right? No. He just prayed to the Father, saying: “Forgive them, for they don’t know what they are doing.”
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the Earth.
- Give a little more-Maroon 5(This has been playing in my media player for 200x now. What can I say…this song really wakes my nerves.)
- You give love a bad name-Bon Jovi
- Stutter-Maroon 5
- You make my dreams-Hall and Oates (that song that Gordon Levitt danced in 500 days of Summer)
- Like a G6-Far East Movement
- Mr. Brightside-The Killers
- Rock with you-Michael Jackson
- Damn girl-Justin Timberlake
- Famous last words-My Chemical Romance
- Hey Soul Sister-Train
Basically/bey’-si-ka-li/- the most abused adverb in normal conversation(Well, basically, it’s just my observation).
- Tipid sa baon.Gumising ka nalang ng 4pm at nakatipid ka na ng breakfast and lunch. Mag-early dinner ka na kung gusto mo.
- Tayo ang beneficiary pag nag-announce na walang pasok. Pwedeng sabihin mo sa ka-dorm mo na pang-umaga na:”Gisingin mo na lang ako pag uuwi ka na tas nag-announce na walang pasok, ok?”
- The radiance of the sun won’t hurt my sensitive skin dahil malilim na pag papasok ka ng school.Eskimo???
- Nakakatamad sched natin. Tatamarin at tatamarain din ang mga prof for sure. Pwedeng di sila pumasok or may chance na di sila pumasok.
- Si Sir German prof namin sa AdvAc 2 (Sir, plus points, minention kita.haha)
- Di mo kailangang gumising ng maaga. Wala nang:”Oh shit, bat di mo ako ginising? May test pa ako sa <insert subject here>, di pa ako nagrreview ni isa” moments. Baka nga magising ka tapos makita mo ang oras 12pm, sabihin mo pa: “SH*T, 12PM PA LANG???”
- Sa haba ng time bago pumasok, makakapag-Rockband ka pa. Siguro mauubos niyo nang magbabarkada lahat ng pwedeng kantahin tas hindi pa 5pm.
- Tipid sa book. Kunchabahin mo yung kakilala mong morning sched sa BSA, tas pasahan na lang kayo ng book.
- Mataas ang chance na magpa-early dismissal ang prof dahil sinusubaybayan niya ang Mara Clara.
- Uuwi ka at pproblemahin kung ano ang pwedeng gawin sa buong gabi hanggang mag5pm bukas.
January 2: You know, I envy you so much.
January 1: Why?
January 2: People around the world celebrates your date and call it a “New Year”, while they don’t celebrate mine after yours and call it “a New Day”.